Happiness

Happiness

A phrase by author and psychologist, Gordon Livingston, comes to mind when I hear that word. That is:

“The three components of happiness are something to do, someone to love, and something to look forward to.”

Whether you have seen this quote on my Facebook or have read his book yourself, I believe this statement is or can be very applicable to most of our lives.

Something to do

In my opinion, one of the worst feelings in the world is when you feel useless or helpless. Remember the last time you stood idle in a group project while everyone was taking part in it? Or when everyone in your family has a job while you sit around at home doing nothing? Feels horrible, right?

We may oftentimes feel worthless and undeserving of all the good things in our lives. To counteract this, we seek to be actively engaged. We want to be doing something rather than nothing. We want to know that our lives have meaning. At the end of the day, many of us would like to say that we accomplished something, that the day was not wasted, that time was well spent, that it was meaningful. You can proudly look back at what you’ve done and smile. Wide.

Someone to love (romantically)

I think this one is self explanatory. I’m still going to explain it anyway. We are all unique individuals; every one of us is special in our own ways. We are a social species; we seek the approval and acceptance of others. To be loved and to love unconditionally is something powerful. When we share mutual feelings of love with someone, we feel as if we are on top of the world; that we can do anything. The impossible then becomes possible.

Our partners help to bring out the best in each and every one of us. Many people spend so much time and effort to find that certain someone. “Why?”, you might ask. We believe that finding that soulmate will make us happy. That they would make us whole; complement our own lives or weave a new one together. To some extend, this is true. In addition to being a social species, we are also a selfish one. To give our love, our undivided attention, our time, and our energy to [gasp] someone else is indeed worthy of a gentle smile.

Something to look forward to

You’re at work or in class. The clock is ticking. Slowly. Every hour feels like a full day. Each minute seems like an eternity. Finally, after what feels like 734,811,940 minutes, you’re FREE! This is a great example of something that we do almost every day. People love to have something to look forward to. It brings about a feeling of excitement, of anticipation. The weekend. A party. A new game or book. That awesome movie-that-you-can’t-wait-to-see. Being with loved ones. Opening Christmas presents. A delicious Red Robin burger. A brand new pair of jeans. Going to a concert. I think you get the point.

Whether that something we look forward to brings immediate or lasting ‘happiness’, we still welcome that feeling all the same. For many of us, our lives revolve around this anticipation of good things to come. There’s nothing wrong with that. It helps us set a short term (or long term) goal every step of the way.

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Now, not everyone needs all 3 components. It’s up to you which ones are important to YOUR happiness.

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