It’s been such a long time since I’ve written and it’s always reassuring to have something to turn to and share my thoughts.
on work
It’s been about 1 year and 9 months since I’ve graduated from Rutgers. It sure feels like college was light years away. Sometimes I do miss the simplicity of having classes to go to, notes to take, and being able to really just…enjoy the fact that friends were just around the corner. It feels much different now that I’ve been working full time in an office job, going through the same routines each day. Don’t get me wrong, having a stable job is nice…yet, it’s nothing noteworthy nor fulfilling. Working in inside sales is not my calling in life. To be honest, I still don’t know what I want to do.
on play
I’ve been pretty much sucked into an MMORPG called Aika Online since May of last year. I’ve meet great friends, fun people, and overall it’s been a fun deal. I’m still playing it many many months later. I’ve also offhandedly been playing other games such as Left for Dead 2, StarCraft2, Plants vs Zombies, Defense Grid: The Awakening, and Fallout 3 (GotY) on Playstation 3. However, it seems that as much as I want to forget all my real life worries, I can’t. Yeah, it’s great to keep playing in a fictional world…but I can’t keeping running all the time, right? Maybe I just want to keep escaping this life…
on matters of the heart
I think we all yearn to find that special person who’ll complete our lives, who will live grow with you each step of your life journey. And I think every single person deserves to love and be loved equally, wholeheartedly, and unconditionally. I don’t know yet if I’ve found that special someone. In my heart, I want to believe so, I want to say “YES, yes, yes, it’s her!”, but who can say for certain? How do you know how long it will last? How many heartbreaks must we suffer to find and BE with that one person who will make our own lives complete, together, as one? I want to love deeply, soulfully, pour every ounce of my being into her. But would she do the same? Would she love unconditionally, wholeheartedly, and give it her all? Would I be able to wake up in the morning knowing that she’s there for me, that she’ll love me no matter how weak, tired, small, unhappy, stupid, or undeserving I feel? Would all my time and energy be worth it in the end? I want want want to delve deep into a loving relationship. I want to love and be loved, to understand and to be understood, to lighten up her day as she lightens up mine. My heart aches to be secure, to be held tightly between the arms of the girl who will love me for me…
Song I’ve stuck in my head:
